Here's The Tea: Why I Nearly Threw My Business In The Bin

Last week, I reached the point where I was ready to throw my business in the bin. 

I want to talk about how I reached that point and what I've learned from it (so far) because it might resonate with you.

As a Manifesting Generator, frustration is my emotional red flag. When I feel it, it's a sign I'm forcing something, pushing in the wrong direction. Lately I've been pushing harder than I did during labour - except not in a good way.

But here's the thing. The frustration didn't come out of nowhere. There was a lot happening beneath the surface that I haven't talked about publicly, and I think it's worth being honest about because it's easy to pretend like everything is fine but that's not helpful for anyone.

While I was in the middle of launching my 8 week program, I was also navigating postpartum depression and going to therapy, which genuinely helped but also meant facing things I'd been avoiding. I was grieving after a miscarriage, we had one before our son was born, and that kind of grief doesn't follow a timeline or wait for a convenient moment. I was realising that our village is basically just my husband and I, and sitting with how much that hurt after months of reaching out to people and getting nothing back. I started a brand new role in my 9 to 5. I was running on broken sleep night after night. And I was quietly questioning whether the time I was pouring into my business was worth the time I was missing with my son.

Not to mention I was also posting on social media daily, recording and editing a weekly podcast episode, trying to not burn out creatively, spend quality time with our son, my hubby and our dogs and try to take care of my physical and mental health.

So when the masterclass I ran had zero sign-ups, and I spent an entire weekend building an email sequence and a quiz only to not launch it because it still had bugs, I was done. Not just tired. Done. It felt like I had to compromise again and give up on something I actually care about.

I sat with it. And I asked myself honestly, what do I actually want this to be? Do I really want to burn it to the ground?

But before I get to that, I want to talk about something I noticed while I was in the thick of it.

I've been living in vanilla-ville.

Everywhere I looked, courses, coaches, programs, all promising the same thing just packaged differently. Rebuild self-trust. Set boundaries. Stop people-pleasing. And I want to be clear, I'm not trashing any of that. It's all important. But let's be honest. It's surface level.

Here's what I mean. The problem isn't that you don't know the importance of boundaries. You could write an essay on them, please don't, I know you're busy enough as it is. The problem is you're afraid of what happens next. When you set one and someone oversteps it, do you hold your ground or let it slide? Your answer to that will tell you exactly what you need to work on.

Because you can know something intellectually and still fold the moment someone pushes back. That's not a knowledge problem. That's an identity problem. And that's the bit most people in this space aren't talking about.

Think about it this way. You're like a duck. Yes, you can tell people to quack off. You're gliding across the water and everyone around you thinks you're graceful, calm, and have it all together. What they don't see, but I do, is the fast paddling happening beneath the surface. You are holding everything together brilliantly, even if it's by a thread.

Since becoming a mumma duck myself, I've been reminded that I do in fact have a capacity limit. And I kept pushing it to make sure it actually existed and to see if I could blow past it without consequence. I wouldn't recommend it.

Juggling a full time job, a new business, being a mum, wife, and dog mum, trying to get my steps in, stay in shape, and eat well is an impossible task. I want all of it to be a priority. But something has to give before I do.

And that's what brought me back to the question. What do I actually want this business to be?

The answer was simple.

I want my books, 1:1 readings, podcast, and group course to give you the tools and framework to rediscover who you are before the world told you who you should be. To be a human being, not a human doing.

I want you to have the energy, the time, and the mindset to just be you. No apology, no self-sacrifice, no feeling like a shell of yourself. To build a deeper connection to who you are so you're not looking in the mirror and seeing a stranger staring back. To be your own best friend and know that your strengths are unique and worth valuing.

To be stable enough in yourself that when someone tries to talk you out of something, whether that's your mother, your mother-in-law, your coworker, or the family member with very strong opinions you genuinely could not care less about, you don't fold. Not because you're rigid. Because you're rooted.

To feel okay asking for help when you hit your capacity, because you will hit it. And to dream big, chase your goals, and be around people who support your growth, not stunt it.

That's what this has always been about. And honestly, it's something I haven't been saying loudly enough.

So I'm saying it now.

If any of this resonated, I'd love to hear about it in the comments. What landed for you?